7.45am. N I'm already starting off my day wif tears. Y d heck I'm crying I have no freaking idea. Wat am I crying for?

I'm all alone at home rite now. Sis left wif Mom n Dad. She has a relief teaching position at Al-Irsyad so shez going there today to haf a discussion wif d teacher who she is taking over. She'll b teaching P2 n 4 English. Good for ya sis...

I hardly slept a wink last nite. Sent someone an sms ard 4.30am n was up by 6.30am. Ahh.... wat's wrong wif me huh??

I cant sleep. It’s 2.20am n im having difficulty trying to fall asleep. Wats wrong? Aint sure.

*sigh* I'm beginning to feel d stress of goin back. It doesn’t help dat ive been cooped up at home for d past 3 days. I'm goin insane. I'm all torn up n confused n.. *sigh*

I really shd turn on my laptop n get cracking on those programming practices. But I dun want to. Coz dat wld only remind me of wats to come.

See my to-do list on d left? I've not done any of dem. Cept for d part of spending time wif family, Nyayi, Adek n Nana. Slept over at bik jun’s last sun. I really shd get out n buy all those things I need. But I wanna do dem wif ma frens. Prob is we usually can't find a suitable free time. Maybe I shd juz do it alone? Nahh… that’ll b boring… I mean as far as possible I wanna spend more time wif ma frens u noe.

I need a new pair of shoes. I've got like only one dat goes wif everythin I wear. Pathetic? Maybe. But I dun believe in trying to match my shoes wif d clothes I wear. I find dat a waste of money. Besides d one I'm wearing now, I haf one dats for special occasions like raya n stuffs, n a pair of sports shoes. Dat is left back in Melb. Oh yeah, I haf a pair of sandals which I hardly wear. Dat too is down south. The one I haf rite now is still in an ok condition. Had it for long. But whn it rained d other time, water kinda seeped in. N I wanna get a new pair here rather den down under coz it’s cheaper to do so.

I need a new pair of jeans. Ok maybe I dun really need one. But d ones I haf down under r mostly blue n I haf only one black. N d black one looks real nice whn I wear wif dis pair of boots during winter. So I'm tinking of getting another black one to wear wif d boots. Here in sg, I dun wear jeans. Dun really like to. Coz whn u wear dem, it’s all figure hugging, d butt n all. But it’s more convenient to wear jeans whn down under. N whn I wear dem wif a jacket or trenchcoat, my ultra big butt won't b dat noticeable.

I dun really need new pantsuits. Dun really haf a use for dem whn it’s during winter. Might get a couple of new t-shirts or sweater though. I only haf one t-shirt dat I wear for sch. Pathetic huh? But like I said I dun wear jeans so y wld I need a t-shirt back den rite? But I do now. So will hafta get dem.

*sigh* I should start packing like by nxt two wks. So which means I shd get all d things I wanna bring back asap. This wkend is out of d qn, since it’s raya haji.

Speaking of which I'm really looking forward to dis wkend. Will b goin down to En-Naeem insya’allah. Can't wait. I like d ‘kecoh-ness’ of these events. The riuh rendah of everyone at d mosque. Most of all I like mtg up wif ma frens there. Tini will be there insya’allah. She msged me today. So will Faizal. Then therez Kak Jun whom I haven’t met since I came back.

Speaking of kakaks, I wonder how Kak Julie is doing in NY. If I'm not wrong, shez graduating dis yr insya’allah. Ahh… Kak Jules… U may nvr noe dis but u've sorta been my inspiration n voice of reason to carry on whn I'm feeling realllyy down back in Melb. I still remember ur words of advice Kak. ‘Never regret anything u do whn it comes to seeking knowledge’. These words of urs I will hold on to always.

Truthfully, up till dis pt, I've not regretted anything. It’s juz dat, it can get really hard at times. Ouhkeiiii I'm like crying rite now. Bleargh. Whr was I? Oh yeah. Yup. I've not regretted anything. Besides for my own good, I’m doing all these for my parents sake ya noe.

Back in 2002, whn I graduated frm poly, my parents were like, ‘so wat u wanna do after dis?’ Mom was pushing towards getting into NIE. Dad juz took a step back n let me decide. I took a look at my options n did tink of NIE. But, I dun wanna juz start to teach wif a diploma. I wanna b a teacher wif a degree. Greedy? Proud? Sombong? Meybe. I dunno. Which was den I decided on getting dis degree. I mean, after dis, I CAN still go to NIE n get a post-grad dip in teaching. Dat is if I still wanna teach. Else I can start working in dis industry. So see, this path is kinda advantageous. Graduate wif a degree n start working or get to NIE n teach. N dey were heppy wif dat decision. Dad especially. How I noe? Sis told me. She wrote me dis letter n gaf it to me before my flight last yr. One of d things she mentioned was dat Dad never told me dis but hez really proud dat I've decided to do dis. Hez always talking abt it in d car whn hez like sending her to sch n stuffs. U noe how much it made my heart swell whn I read dis? To noe dat I've made my parents proud. God. Okei I'm like crying again… So dis letter of my sis, I paste it over my mattress back in Melb. Whenever I need a little push or a reminder, I juz haf to read it, haf a gd cry n carry on.

Ppl ard us tink dat my family’s rich. I mean they r like, ‘Wahh.. anak gie blaja luar negeri. Mesti banyak duit, etc etc.’ Okei straight up, we’re not rich dammit. Dengan kuasa Tuhan, whn I was born, my parents were tergerak to open up an account which is like an investesment or somthin. I mean I'm not sure wat u really call it but it’s like whn I turn 21, d money’s all mine to use. So dey did dis for all three of us, me n ma siblings. N whn I dropped out of JC, dey tot there goes their dream of seeing me go to Uni n d money won't b used. Call it fate really. But maybe my screw up during JC was a blessing in disguise. Coz if I hadn’t screwed up, I wouldn’t go to poly. So by d time I graduated frm poly, I was 21, so dat money is all mine. It is wif dat money dat I'm able to further studies. Dat too isn’t enuf ya noe. I mean so far Dad has already spent SGD$30k. N I've still 1.5 more yrs to go.

Add to dat, I've a sister and brother who’s still schooling. I haf no freaking idea wats gonna happen financially. Sis is hoping for a scholarship. She wants to do medicine. N do u haf any freaking idea how much it costs to do medicine at NUS? I dun too, but it’s A LOT. If she can't get an overseas scholarship, she would haf to settle for NUS wif help frm Mendaki. But hey, I’m sure she can do it ya noe. I mean my sis is not at all like me. She really works hard. Shd see her burning d midnite oil during A levels. N den therez my bro. Who juz started secondary sch at RI *sigh*

Dad juz paid d coming semester fees 2 days ago. It cost him AUD$9123.70. In SGD, it’s close to 12k. Bleargh. N d AUD keeps getting stronger against SGD. Ouch. Still to come r all d future spendings like rent, groceries, etc. Which is y last yr, whn I was down south, I fasted almost everyday. Not only to pay back my debts (which, btw, is a lot. Like 3yrs worth of not fasting?) but also to ease Dad’s burden.

Okei I juz scrolled up to see wat I've typed. Like y am I pouring all dis out tonite? I haf no freaaaking idea. I guess dis is wat u do whn u can't sleep n u haf lots on ur mind =S

Another thing dats on my mind is dis sms-ing thing datz been goin on wif him. Dishy said dat I'm juz being paranoid. Dat maybe hez doing it bcoz I'm like a gerek person to sms wif. Maybe I am being paranoid. I dunno. I mean, I look forward to his smses but at d same time I dun wanna b hooked onto it ya noe. N den therez d qn of WHY he is doing this now. I mean, frm day one dat ive known him hez nvr done dis before. Known him for more den a yr but only got his number last Ramadhan. Whn we were trying to plan something for d channel. N during dat time, whn we sms, it was always business related, or rather channel-matters related. I've nvr known him to b d type to socialize wif d gerls. It’s bugging me A LOT. N I wanna noe y. I sorta hinted to him on Wed nite. Told him dat all d sms-ing is getting too familiar n routine, dat it’ll juz b another thing for me to add to my ‘missing loads’ list whn I'm down sth. A habit which wld b hard to let go. Something which is scaring d wits out of me. His only reply was ’Takmu sedih k’. Bleargh. Not sure if he got d hint tak.

Ahh.. it’’s almost 3.30am. I shd try to get some sleep..

So I woke up this morn wif mixed feelings. Exactly one mth frm today I'll b flying south. I dun wanna leave. But I noe this is something I've to do since after all I have chosen this path....

*sigh* If only I can bring everyone back wif me. Esp ma frens. It can get pretty lonely down there u noe... especially since after wat happened.

I was supposed to be continuing wif ma VB last nite but juz felt so reluctant to do it. I'm halfway thru d bk n yet to start on the class exercises. Not sure if I can complete it within d mth, esp when I've other things to do as well.

Somebody has been bugging me of late. Not bugging in an irritating way. But bugging in a fun way. Been sms-ing me. Of late we've exchanged over 80+ smses between each other wthin juz 4 days. It's a routine which is becoming almost too familiar. And I'm afraid dat it would turn into a habit which I would miss badly whn I'm down south....

*sigh* I dun wanna go back.... =(

Yowzaaa!!! Had a geeerrraaaaattttttttttt day yesterdayyy *wide grin*

Started off wif me meeting up wit Aisha. Met her ard 1plus and treated her to lunch at Breeks. Our first time there. We shared a chicken pattie melted and garlic mashed potato. Nice but a lil too heavy on d pocket if were to go there often.

Then we met up wif Apiz at cineleisure and watched 'The Last Samurai'. Wowwee!!! Citer fahwerrr banggeettttt!!!! Should watchh nohh =) It's like watching a Jap version of LOTR. Especially the battle part!! And I lurrrrvveeeddd the humor in d showw!! Very well-placed. Kudos to d writers. Geezz really great show man! Wouldnt mind watching it again! Btw, Bob is my hero k.

We wanted to sit down n lepak somewhere n tot of BK coz Apiz wanted to get d N-Gage phone. Since it was abt to rain we decided to go to Taka so dat later no need to walk in d rain. Dah pusing2 kat Taka and Wisma we realised dat there is no BK there. Went to Lucky Plaza instead to eat at the cheap-O 2bucks makan place but it was closed (raya cina kaper). So in d end we decided to a make a move.

I headed for NUS to watch 'Pentas Pujangga'. Met up wif Bik Na n family at Clementi MRT. My cuz Fadli had a small role for his sch (NYP). Altogether six schools entered the comp. All 5 polys and NTU/NIE. SP won. They had a storyline yg berisi, a lot of double meaning (mcm metaphors like dat). I mean d story is abt dis gerl who got raped by her dad n shez like real angry. Den in one scene dey had dis.... Erh.. k neh mind... I dun tink im dat gd at explaining how d show went. Haha! But it was really nice though. Their's was really like a theatre production while d rest was more to juz acting out a script. NTU/NIE came in second and RP was third, which is real gd considering they r new n all. RP also won best script, they had a script which had a touch on Islamness innit. I like. SP won best screenplay and one other award not sure wat.

Oh if ur wondering how cuz dear did... It was ok lah. His sch didnt really had a gd storyline. His acting was ok. Alahhh... knowing him he sure can do lah. Dat mat so lepak at doing merepek *grins* Shd hear me and his bro Luqman scream k. 'Baik Fadli!!' 'Baik Muhammad!!' Hehehe....

D rest of d sch (TP and NP) kinda merepek lah storyline. Tak paham sangat cheq =D I like d persalingan performances done by NUS, especially d zapin dance n silat. Skilledd~~

Took some pix wif Fadli after d show. Will upload dem later. We managed to catch d last train. Wahh lucky seh. U noe wat happened??? It was like a classic Murphy's law scene siahh. Had 5mins to catch d last train. Everybody (Fadli, Luqman, Bik Na n hubby) had already went in. Me n sis was abt to enter d train gate den her kad insufficient amt. So she asked me to wait for her while she top up. Of coursseeeeee d machince didnt accept her cash of $10. So she had to use my NETS. DEN! She go and tekan $40 instead of 10. So noww she owes me $40 k. Luckkkyyyy I havent tap my kad yet k. If not she will be stuck there wif d machine not accepting her money n will prob end up going home alone...

Hhmm... den we went for supper at Prime S-11. Had some rice and spring chicken. Eventually reached home ard 12.30. But still I went to bed ard 5am. Haha! Had a nice chat wif dohter dear n Taqi. Plans for outing on d 2nd are in works *grins*

*sigh* Really had fun yesterday. Great day. Will b sleeping over at Bik Jun's tonite (yeahhh dapat jumpa Nana n Adek!). Nyayi is there and will b sending her home to Paman's tmr....

"Apiz: Mos Burger bleh makan tau"
"Aisha: Mana bleh..."
"Apiz: Abeh org2 makan kat dlm tuh apa..."

"Lembu masuk unversiti, kucing bukak langkah... Wahaha!!"

Lately been kinda lazyyyy to blog. Nothing much have happened though since the last time I blogged. Let's see...

I finally made my choices for the coming semester's lessons. I've got 4 days of lessons (urgh!). But the 4th day, class is only for an hr (hah!). Datz a Thursday. Which means I'll probably end up doing grocery shopping on dat day after school. Den again things could change juz before semester starts. See how ah...

Did some back to school shopping last Tuesday. Bought lotsa those colored pens dat I use a lot. I finally bought Bro his LOTR ROTK book. Oh yeah. I also bought Nyayi this digital clock/radio. See she was around once when I was listening to IKIM (on my hp radio). She was real interested in it but like mine, her radio can't get the station. So I tot since her berfday is kinda ard d corner (sometime in Muharram) as such the clock/radio would be a great gift for her. Nice arent I? *grins* While at Spotlight I met Aisha. She was there wif her cousin and her cousin's bf. Both of us should hang out one day k gerl? Oh I also met Ruqie while walking at TM. Wasnt sure though. Some guy said 'hi' to me so I said 'hi' back and dat guy looked like Ruqie. Hehehe...

Apologies to Hazrul wif regards to last Wed. Had planned to watch Kal Ho Na Ho but woke up dat morning feeling kinda lazy. Besides was kinda broke after spending on all those stationery. Furthermore, the VCD will be out sometime next week. Would be kinda waste to spend watching at the movies.

In the evening though, I met up wif Tangy. Hehehe... We were both online when she suggested dat we go check out the Body Worlds thingy at Expo. Then when she heard from Salafi dat Ust Rahmat ada kuliah after Maghrib at Masjid Kassim, she asked me to accompany her. So we went. I was late in meeting her so she missed doing Maghrib wif d jemaah. (Sorri bout dat dear!) Apparently though there was no such event. Hehehe... Den she suggested we go to Darul Arqam to juz meet up wif her frens. Said there was some 'Teens At the Crossroad' meeting dat we could juz sit in. I tot wat d heck rite since I'm oredi outside? But of course, there was no such thing. Hahahaha!! But guess who I met at DA? Syah of course. He juz started working there for like a week. He's been a Befriender for quite a while though. Didnt really catch up wif him though cos Tangy was in a hurry. Hope to see you during Korban Syah....

Wan, Apiz and Aisha went fishing on dat Wed nite. They asked me along but Mama and Ayah didnt allow *pouts* Bet dey had a great time *jealous* Oh well.

Treated Bro to Body Worlds yesterday evening. It was darn interesting. I STILL cant believe those things are for real!! I mean really! Are they really real?!? *still in awe* I especially liked the section on embryos and those foetuses. The embryos were sooooooooo kewlllll!! So darnnnn tinyyy man!!! Macam pasir!! Now I really understand the meaning of 'dari setitis air, lalu menjadi segumpal darah, lalu menjadi segumpal daging' (those who tune to IKIM would understand wat I mean). You guys should go if you haf d dough. Would make you go Subhanallah at kuasa Tuhan. All those arteries, muscles and wat not. *phew*

Notice the to-do list I haf on the left? Yeah... those are the things I need to do and buy before leaving *checks money* I probably need to beg around for more. Bleargh.

Gonna clear up all the mess in my table today. And complete the long overdue berfdae presens. *heh* Will be attending 'Pesta Pujangga' tmrw wif Bik Nah n family. Cousin dear is performing for his school.

Ayte den people... Till next time I feel like blogging yah...

Aloha semua =) Mintak ampun mintak maap lah pasal dah lama tak blog... Been kinda lazy uhh.. hehehe...

The chalet on Sat nite was great fun. Kinda disappointed dat not many turned up though. Me n Aisha were d only gerls who came and overnite. Erhh.. actually it wasn't a chalet 'chalet' in dat kinda sense. U noe not like those at Pasir Ris or East Coast. It was actually a bunch of containers put together with BBQ facilities available for rent by SCDF staff. U noe like those containers used in schools for classes? Yeah, it was like dat. *heh* We were kinda disillusioned by Abg Basir uhh~ But watever it is, I had a great time, catching up wif everyone. The young ones of Syabab especially.

Some of the guys went fishing. Besh!! Johari even managed to catch a stingray!! Fahwerrr uhh~!~

Fiz brought along his X-box and many of the young ones were hooked on it the whole nite, playing one game after another. We even watched 'Kill Bill'. Whoaaaaa~~~ Dat is one heckkk of a violent movie siaahhh...

Of course I didn't sleep the whole nite *grins* Slept only sometime after Subuh. Tuh pon Isyak ku buat amatt lambat *ahakz* Like one hr before Subuh...? *heh* Notti eh? =P Though it wasn't like wat we had back in 2001, it was definitely an event dat's one for the Syabab memories =) I guess the next time when everyone will gather again would be during Korban come Feb. Looking real forward to dat....

Ouh yeah, I exchanged food wif Fik yesterday!! *heh* In exhange for his custard cocktail, I had to make him fried rice. I even throwed in his favourite, ayam masak merah. But erm.. dat didn't out too well. Hehehe... His cocktail is nice, but ratherrr tooooo sweeett for me n my family. So Fik? What shall we exhange next huhh? =D

Hhmm... today is exactly 2mths since I've been home. Come the 28th, it would be exactly one mth before I leave for part 2 of my perjuangan. *sigh* Me n her, things r still d same. I'm not sure wats gonna happen for d future, or wat I'm gonna do about it. Right now, I'm juz concentrating on enjoying wat's left of my holidays.

Been trying to allocate my classes for the semester but apparrently, the system is still down for my faculty. Bleargh.

Came back ard 3.30 juz now. Attended TPMSS AGM meeting. It went well. Hopefully the newly elected chairman and vice-chairman will do a good job insya'allah. Both of them gave really good answers during the selection interview process. Teruskan perjuangan yer Mohksin and Azhari~

After dat we had lunch together at Habibie. Not all of us though, most of us. Zaw asked me if I haf a significant other, if not a calon at least. *heh* Wat is it wif people n relationships lately?? Korang tak sabar nak makan nasi briyani aku kaper?? Someone else suggested dat I apply for PR Down Under. Ntah lah eh... Tgk lah camner keadaan nanti. *sigh*

Had difficulty trying to fall asleep last nite, with so many tots running thru ma mind. Now dat I tink abt it, it's not like I havent been contacting her since we came back. I sms her asking abt her flight details once but she nvr replied dat sms. N to tink dat it was she who suggested dat we go back together so dat we can share a cab. I mean like wat d hell sehh? First u suggest on sharing a cab den when I ask for ur flight details u nvr reply... *bleargh* It's times like dis dat I feel like not bothering to try to patch things up. Takleh tahan ngan kepala angin dia... Am I being a bitch here? *shrugs*

Going for Syabab chalet later and most likely will overnight and won't be coming back tonite. Hopefully those people whom I haven't had a chance to catch up wif would come. Catch up wif ya peeps tmr ayte...

*sigh* Just had a counselling session wif Kak Nish. After Mich msged me on MSN, I felt kinda... weird? I dunno. I juz had to talk to somebody. N Nishy was there thank god. Dammit man, I'm beginning to cry! *urgh* Ever since dat day I've never failed to regret and reproach myself for wat I did. And ever since dat day oso, things haf nvr been d same btn us. I feel truly ashamed and segan towards her semenjak hari tuh. Nish is right though. Running away is not d way to gain her trust back. I gotta do otherwise. Ku patut mengetepikan perasaan malu and try to repair the damage. Ironic isnt it? Malu utk melakukan perkara yg baik tetapi tidak pula ku rasa malu semasa melakukan perkara itu. *sigh*
The heart to heart wif Nishy really did me good though. I juz hope dat... Hhmm... I'm juz hoping for the best... =S

WoOohoOo!!! I can finally view ma own blog! *heh* Since sat blogspot ada hal ngan aku, tak dapat view blog. Anywayyyyyy, let's see, wat's been happening since I last blog eh..?

Oh yeah, I mention d last time dat I shd get ma butt moving to visit Nyayi rite? Well, *heh* guess wat? She came over yesterday ard 4pm. Hehehe... Was on her way home frm ngaji and decided to drop by to see me. *grinz* Wat can I say? I'm loved by all *ahakz*

Bro's been back frm his orientation camp since yesterday too. He's grown dark! A lil at least. Seems like he had lotsa fun.

Like I mentioned b4 Sis is having her chalet till friday. Yesterday morning she and her frens cooked lots for d bbq last nite. N left me wif d mess to clean up!!! *sheesh* U owe me BIG time sista!!

She invited me to d bbq n so I went wif Hazrul. Left after watching Charmed and we took a walk along d beach. Air tgh pasang so it was really nice. Had a great time catching up wif Rul. Reached home ard 12.30am.

Oh I watched d songs VCD of Kal Ho Na Ho yesterday n now I'm hookedd!!! Great danceyyy songs!! *joget* *joget* My fave is 'It's The Time To Disco'. 'Pretty Woman' is another great one. Cant wait to watch d show. *grins*

It was back to bumming ard today, except for d fact dat Mama left me some hsework to do. Tink I might be going out tmr.... Hhmm...

*sniffle* Suddenly caught wif d flu bug tonite =( My eyes are kinda red and puffy *sigh*

Yesterday bro went for his orientation camp *heh* His very first time being away frm home, frm mama and ayah. Wonder how hez doing. Tonite on his schedule hez supposed to be having a campfire. He'll be back tmr. Was a bummer yesterday and today.

Will be bumming ard again tmr i guess. Though i do haf dis projek in mind. A birthday present projek datz waaaayyyyyy overdue. Apologies to them. And i havent started on my VB either. Lazy bum? Meybe.

Sis will b having a chalet wif her frens tmr till friday. Syabab is having a chalet dis weekend, though i kinda wonder watz d dvpt like for dat. Tak dgr citer apa2 pon pasal d preparations *shrugs*

I should get my butt moving and visit Nyayi tmr. Dah lama tak jumpa dia. *sniffle*

Feeling kinda jiwang tonite. Lagu 'Tragedi Tenda Biru' is currently playing on mp3. *blows nose*

I still havent allocate my classes for d semester. Apparently IT students can only do it on the 12th. Already took a look at my choices. Most of my classes dis time ard end quite late, like ard 6 *bummer* Oh well, now dat i noe whr d musollah is, shdnt be so bad ar.

Met bro `shoot again last nite. Really keen to join d Persatuan Melayu Victoria and get to noe more ppl. Sis's is being a real pain rite now so i shall end here... Toodles~

*geez* dis sux =S Since Sat nite, ive been trying to view my blog but i cant!! I can create posts and publish my entries but when i try to view them, it keeps bringing me to Blogger.com. Asal seh?? Same thing goes when i try to view other people's blog this morning. But the weird thing is Fik is able to view my blog. Naper nie??? *sigh*

Was too fed up in trying last nite dat i gave up and didnt blog. Bleargh.
Went out again yesterday. Sulahfah invited me to her Bro's walimah and i went wif Witchy dearie. Finally get to meet up wif her seh.. Been trying to do dat for quite a while but selalu ada ajer either of us. *heh* Next time we should sit down n lepak2 n bobal k? Meybe at KFC or sumthin aye..? I still havent had my cheese fries k.. =D Neway, we met up @ Tamp small Mac. She gave me a pink rose... *terharu* So sweet of u gerl. *muackz* *hugz*

On the way home, had to pass the berkat which Sulahfah gave to the Ayam Masak Merah lover. Nasib baik tinggal quite dekat k... kalau tidak tak kuasa hamba =P

I can start allocating my classes today. The server is having a little prob in logging me in though. Expected. Coz i bet everyone is trying to log in. I hope to haf only 3 days of lessons this semester. Same as last semester. And i hope to have all the classes in the morning. Jadi senang nak jaga solat semua.
Hhmm... im not sure though whether i should discuss wif her regarding the classes. Not sure if she wants to go to the classes together. Either way im fine. Kalau tak sesama pon tak mati kaper. Sometimes i really dun get it y she always wants to do things together. Call me anti social or a loner. I dun care. I prefer to do things alone. *sigh* Since we came back, we havent been in touch with each other. At the back of my mind still lingers the incident which changed it all between us. The one thing which i shall regret doing for the rest of my life =( She can forgive me but she'll probably wont ever forget wat ive done.

Ur probably tired of hearing this but... I'm really sorry gerl. I truly am......

Spent the day outside today. Went to watch Mona Lisa Smile with Muhaimin. *heh* Managed to twist his arm into treating me during the whole outing. *grinz* Maceh Min~ =P Had a good time catching up with him.

The show was good. Somewhat a lil like Dead Poet's Society. Julia Roberts trying to change the mindset of the town, encouraging her students to have their own thoughts without uniformity. Married life isnt the end to your dreams or ambitions and all that stuffs.

The movie kinda got me started thinking about life and wat i wanna do after graduating. Hard to say wat my plans are for now. I do haf dreams or ura2 of getting a Masters. But definitely not straight away after ive graduated. And definitely not with my parents money =S Numero uno priority would be getting a good job, supporting my parents and siblings. This i hope to do in Sg but *sigh* at the way the mkt is going, it mite not happen. Mite haf to seek for jobs Down Under. N be away from my loved ones =( *bleargh*

Talked a lil abt relationships wif Muhaimin. He asked if im not looking for my significant other. *heh* Who isnt bro..? But... *shrugs* I'm looking, but im not desperate... yet.

Met Suharni at Al-Falah while doing Maghrib prayers there. Apparently she juz graduated last May and have already started working at Madrasah Al-Irsyad since July. Lucky her. To get a job straight away after graduating.

My ez link is running low again when i juz topped up yesterday *bleargh* N tmr ive to attend a walimah at yishun... *urgh* Part-time job anyone?

*tired* Came back ard 10plus juz now. Went out wif Yani to Bik Jun's hse. It's Adek's 4th berfdae today. We made a stop at Toys R Us n bought her present. We bought this Kiddie Kitchen thingy which she can use to play masak2 wif Nana. Not wanting to make Nana feel out, we also bought her something... some game. We made d mistake of not calling Bik Jun before leaving n ended up having to wait outside her flat for half an hr before she finally reached home. *heh* Stayed there until after isyak, playing wif dem n all.

*sigh* Dis morning during subuh i woke up to a msg frm Khai Xs. Apparently, one of the chatter's abg, Freak's elder bro, passed away after having met wif a bike accident. Even though i hardly noe dat guy, my heart went out to him. Kinda made me tink abt life n death for a while. His parents muz b really devastated. Not to mention Freak himself. One minute u haf an abg d next.... *sigh*

My most heartfelt condolences to u n ur family dear bro.... Take care n be strong ayte....

i decided to change the blog skin again... heh... kes takdek keje lain nak buat... =P

but as u can see therez still some changes dat needs to be corrected... kalau bleh d powerwebmusic banner i wanna remove... oh well... will work dat out soon...

didnt go out today... kinda bummed ard a lot... except for some ironing which mama asked me to do...

today may be a new year but to me it's juz another ordinaryyy day... haliim starts his secondary sch life tmr... heh... my bro... in secondary sch... soon he'll b a teenager... *aawww* he'll start to be more conscious of the way he dresses n looks (well at least i hope dat will happen!) wonder when pimples will start popping out... one thing for sure... pimples or no pimples... dat wont stop me from kissing him *grins* one way or another i'll kiss u k bro... no matter how much taller u r den i am... =P